High school is a place of many terrible things. Most people will complain about homework, some people complain about their teachers, some people complain about their job. I’m here, however, to complain about how much I hate relationships in high school.

I know, I know, you’re probably saying, “Ben, you’re only saying that because you can’t get a date.” You’re certainly not wrong. I can’t get a date. You’re wrong, dear reader, about why I hate it, though.

Have you ever been blocked from your classroom by a couple sucking face? How about suffered a horrendous traffic jam in the hallway by a make-out sesh? Any of you that have experienced this should understand why I hate sappy teen love.

The scourge that plagues the Central community is the excessive amount of PDA (public displays of affection) I have the always-appreciated pleasure of viewing. I was unaware of the fact that I was starring in a rather questionable R-rated feature film. I’d always hoped to emulate my hero, Leo DiCaprio, but this is certainly not what I had in mind. In any case, I see enough affection in the hallway that I’m ready to puke the next time I see any more lip-locking.

It’s not just disgusting, it’s inconveniencing. I’ve been a part of a massive hallway jam started by a couple refusing to move, as they were… otherwise occupied. My classroom has been blocked off by some young, sporting snoggers. Worst of all, I’ve been subject to some first-class third-wheeling. It’s awful.

Worse still is the fact that everyone acts like their significant other is, well, significant. I get it. You meet someone you really like and you think that you could have a potentially long relationship. Then you take it as an excuse for saying that you found the perfect girl/guy, you couldn’t live without them, and you’re in loooove. Want to know how much the rest of us care? Not at all. Honestly, dude, you’ve lived for fourteen or fifteen years without her. I’m sure you can manage an hour.

Don’t even get me started on the excessive #mcm and #wcw posts, 1-week anniversary tags, gross social media profile pictures, and the pet names. Dear god, the pet names.

Overall, whether on social media, or in school, high school relationships are gross and overbearing. I think we could all benefit from a “no-spit-swapping” policy once in a while.