Dear Wolfie, Terrible Traffic Troubles!


Sebastian Gutkin, Co Editor-in-Chief

Dear Crazed&WaitingDriver,

Are you sure this isn’t Mr. Hennelly?? Oh well as always I think I can help. Much like other issues that have been brought up on this forum, there are logical ways to handle this situation annnnd let’s just say “creative ways” to handle the situation. Let’s start with the creative, it’s much more fun. Maybe you can slip Mr. Travis a 20 and he can let you drive on the shoulder of the road for the last quarter mile so you can get here on time? Or you could order an official police light for your car on Amazon. (not joking I checked) I prefer the 70’s model dome light that you just throw on the roof but that’s up to you. Having a flashing light on top of your car is a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught in traffic. Kind of creative but somewhat realistic is to take your time and instead of coming straight to school cruise on down to Dunkin and grab your first-period teacher their favorite drink. That is sure to keep you off the tardy list, and if you are late enough you will miss the traffic entirely.  All that said, maybe it’s time to leave a little bit earlier. I figure if you get to school by 7:10, you will not only avoid traffic but also have 25 minutes of new found free time. The possibilities are endless! Get caught up on some work, meet some new friends, visit your favorite teacher, or maybe just throw in your pods, listen to some music and let the world fade away for a bit. If you use the situation to better yourself it is a win, win. As my Uncle Olaf used to say “there are never any traffic jams on the extra mile.” Hope this helps and regardless of which direction you choose to go, drive safely!

Stay Awesome,


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